PSAT Writing : Improving Sentences
Study concepts, example questions & explanations for PSAT Writing
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Example Questions
Example Question #491 : Improving Sentences
The young lieutenant, having seen heavy fighting at previous battles, knew that the task which was ahead of his troops was a difficult one.
The young lieutenant having seen heavy fighting at previous battles, knew that the task which was ahead of his troops was a difficult one.
The young lieutenant knowing the task ahead of his soldiers was difficult because he had seen heavy fighting at previous battles.
The young lieutenant knew the task ahead of his soldiers was difficult because he had seen heavy fighting at previous battles.
The young lieutenant, having seen heavy fighting at previous battles, knew that the task which was ahead of his troops was a difficult one.
The young lieutenant had seen heavy fighting at previous battles, knew that the task ahead of his troops was difficult.
The young lieutenant knew the task ahead of his soldiers was difficult because he had seen heavy fighting at previous battles.
The sentence as it is written is overwrought and complicated, and would be best served by being simplified. The only answer choice that simplifies the sentence, remains grammatically correct, and does not distort the meaning is "The young lieutenant knew the task ahead of his soldiers was difficult because he had seen heavy fighting at previous battles."
Example Question #492 : Improving Sentences
River currents become stronger as a river grows wider, danger becoming more likely.
danger being more likely.
becoming more dangerous.
danger more likely.
likelihood of danger being more.
danger becoming more likely.
becoming more dangerous.
The underlined portion of the sentence is a referential phrase that does not clearly fit into the sentence's meaning. The same meaning to the sentence can be given with a more cohesive word choice. "Becoming more dangerous" is the only answer choice that appropriately refers to the preceding part of the sentence and is grammatically correct.
Example Question #493 : Improving Sentences
To have been that which once was held precious, the figurines were kept by the young woman through all of her moves.
To have been which was held precious,
Having once been holding precious,
Being once held precious,
Having been that which once was held precious,
To have been that which once was held precious,
Being once held precious,
The underlined phrase is extremely awkward and confusingly worded, and must be simplified. While being simplified, the intended meaning must be kept, and the new form must remain grammatically correct. The only answer choice that appropriately does all of this is "Being once held precious."
Example Question #494 : Improving Sentences
The school teacher was desperately seeking the student that was the one who had done the damage to the room.
that had doing the damage to the room.
that was the one who had done the damage to the room.
that did the damage to the room.
that was done damage to the room.
that was the one that had done the damage to the room.
that did the damage to the room.
The underlined portion of the sentence has too many words and becomes confusing. The underlined section needs to be simplified, but also has to be grammatically correct and keep the intended meaning of the sentence. "That did the damage to the room" is the choice that best does this among the answers.
Example Question #495 : Improving Sentences
Having been one of the ones that had received the medal, the athlete quickly became a national hero.
Having been the ones that had received the medal
Having received one of the ones of the medal.
Having been one to receive the medal
Having been one of the ones that had received the medal
Having received the medal
Having received the medal
The underlined portion of the sentence is extremely wordy, bordering on confusing. The phrase desperately needs to be simplified in order to make it clearer. The best answer choice that both simplifies and retains the intended meaning is "Having received the medal."
Example Question #496 : Improving Sentences
That topic being one of the ones which had been discussed, the entire group thought about it all weekend.
Being one topic that was discussed
That topic being one of the ones which having been discussed
That topic being one which had been discussed
That topic being one of the ones which had been discussed
Being a topic that was one having been discussed
Being one topic that was discussed
The underlined phrase is extremely wordy and confusingly complex, and needs to be greatly simplified. While it should be simplified, it also needs to retain the sentence's intended meaning and be grammatically correct. The answer choice that best does both of these tasks is "Being one topic that was discussed."
Example Question #497 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Everyone was shocked to see that the crowd's favorite horse in the race was the least fast out of all of the horses.
were the slowest one.
was the slowest out of all of the horses.
was the least fast one.
was the slowest one.
was the slowest one of everyone.
was the slowest one.
The best way to say something like "least fast" is to simply say "slowest." It is more concise and more direct, and so although "least fast" may be gramatically correct, it is not the most effective form. "Out of all of the horses" is also unnecessarily wordy and can be shortened to be more effective at getting the point across.
Example Question #498 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
Having been the one that had been the one that negotiated the treaty, the diplomat was highly familiar with the details of the agreement.
Having been the one that had been the one that negotiated the treaty
Having been the one that negotiated the treaty
Having had been the one that negotiated the treaty
Having been one that had negotiated the treaty
Having negotiated the treaty
Having negotiated the treaty
The underlined portion is extremely awkward, confusing, and repetitive, so it needs to be simplified. Not only should the repetition be done away with, but the phrase that is repeated. "been the one that," is unnecessary. The answer choice that best simplifies the sentence is "Having negotiated the treaty."
Example Question #499 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
The day's events made many people question the things with which they had previously held quite dear.
the things they having had previously held quite dear.
the things with which they had previously held quite dear.
the things they previously held quite dear.
the things with they previously held quite dear.
the things which they had previously held quite dear.
the things they previously held quite dear.
The underlined portion of the sentence is extremely overwrought and fairly unclear. Specifically, "had" and "held" make two verbs in the dependent clause, and a sense of repetition permeates the phrase. The best simplification that also keeps the intended meaning of the sentence is "the things they previously held quite dear."
Example Question #500 : Improving Sentences
Replace the underlined portion with the answer choice that results in a sentence that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.
That which was the element that had been debated in the session was set aside for further discussion during the next session.
The element debated in the session
That which was the element that had been debated in the session
The element which being debated
Element debated in session
That element that had been debates in the session
The element debated in the session
The underlined portion of the sentence is extremely wordy and overwrought, and needs to be greatly simplified. The simplification should not change the sentence's intended meaning or introduce any grammatical errors. "The element debated in the session" is the answer choice that does this best.
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