The Mental Health of a Middle Schooler by Alyson

The Mental Health of a Middle Schooler by Alyson - December 2024 Scholarship Essay

Before I’d reached middle school, my parents had separated. They had made it known to me that the other one was at fault for everything—they’re evil, they caused this, they don’t love you like I do. At age 10, I spiraled into a mentality that made it all seem like my fault. My older siblings hardly talked to me—I trapped myself in my room, came up with all the reasons why I didn’t deserve happiness, and suffered in silence.

When I did reach middle school, it felt like my life was ending. I know, it’s ironic for an 11-year-old to think she’s old and dying soon, but that’s the mentality of a sixth-grader. After two months of school—hardly going, sometimes only making it in once a week—I had enough. I spent all my time in the guidance counselor’s office and barely completed work. My parents wrote a letter of intent to homeschool, and I did—but my education wasn’t a great one.

In seventh grade, I tried again. I went back to public school, and it went well—until February. One month before COVID-19 hit, I begged to become homeschooled again. As the world was forced to do what I’d been begging for, I felt like everyone was finally on the same page as I was.

As eighth grade came around, still in the midst of the pandemic, I felt defeated. I didn’t feel like I’d ever graduate high school. I hardly tried, because it didn’t seem worth it for me to put in any effort. I’d completely given up on my future before I turned 14.

In the summer before my freshman year, I decided that I needed to make a change. I was young, and it wasn’t okay for me to give up my entire life because of the predispositions I’d had for myself. I went back to public school, and I tried. Harder than I ever thought I could.

Now, in my senior year of high school, I know that was the best decision I could’ve made. It’s now my fourth year of consistently going to school, pushing myself, and achieving great academic goals that I never thought I could. Although I never was able to truly graduate 8th grade, my greatest accomplishment will come in June—when I’m finally able to do what I never thought I could. I’ll walk across the stage, receive my diploma, and head to college next fall.