It's okay by Amandalyn

It's okay by Amandalyn - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

If I could give advice to my past self, I would have a lot to say. It would be difficult to choose just one thing to focus on, so instead, I would give advice that would apply to all my hardships. It would simply be that it's okay. It's okay to not be perfect all the time. It's okay to show emotions. It's okay to miss someone you shouldn't. It's okay to be happy while someone else is sad. It's okay to have moments where you don't know what to do next. It's okay to make mistakes. Most of all, it's okay to put your self first sometimes. It's not selfish to put yourself first. I think people misunderstand this a lot.

Friendships and relationships place you in sort of a package. Some friendships and relationships are good for you, but some aren't. For me, my friendship unfortunately fell under not so good. I found myself pushing my own well-being, my own happiness to the side for my best friend. I wasn't thinking about myself, and how I can make myself succeed, and be okay. Every time I did something for me, or was happy when she wasn't, or something similar of the sort, I felt bad. I thought, what kinda friend am I?

Over time I realized a true friend would want you to be happy, even if they are sad. A true friend would want you at your best, and help you get there. I realized that putting yourself first doesn't make you selfish, or a bad friend. If you focus on everyone else's happiness, you'll never find your own. I found my spark again, and I'm glad I did. If I could tell myself one thing, it would be that it's okay. I wish I knew sooner that it's all okay, but I learned and I grew, and that's what counts.