What Will They Think? by Arianna

What Will They Think? by Arianna - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Sixth grade: the year all of my insecurities started to arise. How much did I weigh? Did other people like me? What do they think of me? Everything I did was so that other people would approve me. If I could do it all over again, I would tell 12 year old me to stop obsessing over what other people thought.
In sixth grade, everyone is dealing with their own insecurities. Moving from a new school, I was worried other kids may see me as the new girl and shut me out. In order to stop myself from being lonely, I overcompensated to impress others. Little did I know, all it would lead me to was extreme depression and dissatisfaction with myself. If I felt the other kids didn't like an activity I did- such as my passion for reading- I would stop. Losing my passions just left me unfulfilled and disappointed in my life. When I continued to find it hard to make friends, I worried kids didn't like me for my looks. I restricted my food intake in order to impress the other girls. Still, I was left with no friends and a horrible relationship with food and my own body. The more I changed myself, the more unhappy I was. I had no real friends and wasn't sure who I was anymore.
Five years later, I know that anyone who doesn't like you for who you are is not someone you need in your life. There is no one on this planet who is worth you hating yourself, and there is no one you should try to change yourself for. If I could go back and tell my 12 year old self one thing, I would tell her to stop worrying about what other people thought, and enjoy her childhood.