Tick-tock: The 1 in 3 by Cadence

Tick-tock: The 1 in 3 by Cadence - March 2017 Scholarship Essay

I live my life by the clock. 7am: The sun rises. I put on my Nikes, fill a water bottle, leash my dog, slip my whistle around my wrist, and run. 8am: I shower, eat my breakfast, check the weather, put on my jacket. 9am: I drive to campus. 10am: I sit in my first class. 12pm: I eat lunch, he approaches me and asks for my number. I tell him I’m not interested. He scoffs and tells me I shouldn’t act so stuck up so I lie and tell him I have a boyfriend. He leaves me alone. Does anyone question why he respects more that I am another man’s girl over my agency to reject to his advances? 1pm: I go to class. By 5pm I have finished my last class for the day. I wait for the light rail. I ignore the honks, the whistles, and the catcalls. 6pm: The sun is setting. As I get off the light rail I take out my keys. I walk across campus to the parking garage. 6:07pm: Footsteps behind me make me walk faster. I make it to the parking garage while there are few cars left. 6:13: I hear a man call out to me, I walk faster. As I unlock my car I hear him behind me, his hand touches my shoulder. I clench my keys in my fist, I reach toward my pocket feeling the outline of the pepper spray…….. 10pm: I wake. I cry. I am the victim but I will be blamed.

I once had a teacher suggest that all women live their lives by a “rape clock,” consciously or subconsciously. We don’t walk alone after dark. We tell people when we arrive somewhere safely and when they should expect us back. We carry pepper spray like souvenir surf boards on our key chains. We walk with our keys in our hands through park garages. We don’t trust the footsteps behind us. We are wary of the men around us. Some at this point may be thinking this is irrational or an exaggerated response. But 1 in 3 women will be victims of sexual assault, but only 3 in 100 sexual abusers will ever be incarcerated.
Maybe this topic makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s easier to ignore, and maybe the reality of my life is too sensitive of a story for you to read. But this is reality.

I want to give a speech on sexual violence to a school-wide audience. This is an issue especially present on college campuses. Before moving away to college my father gifted me 2 things; a whistle and pepper spray. At freshman orientation I learned how “not to get raped.” Their advice included not getting overly intoxicated, dressing modestly and to walk in groups. I asked myself, why teach how not to get raped when you could teach other NOT to rape.

The severity of sexual assault is diminished by victimizing those who have been violated. Far too often efforts are focused on what the victim did to provoke or not properly avoid the situation rather than the perpetrator’s actions. It does not matter the intoxication level, the length of a skirt, or the time of day or night. No means no and a lack of consent is not a yes. Teaching students what constitutes sexual assault and the legal repercussions will help empower victims and discourage future sexual assaults. This topic is not pleasant, but it is reality and it is important. Let’s make college campuses “the time of your life” for everyone.