The Importance of Self-Forgiveness by Camryn

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness by Camryn - June 2019 Scholarship Essay

Since my first day in Mr. LeDoux’s class, I’ve been constantly learning and pushed to do better than what I perceived my best to be. I owe a great deal to Mr. LeDoux; he has helped me to map out a path for my life and develop as a student, a writer, and a person. Perhaps the biggest lesson that I have learned from Mr. LeDoux, though, was to be kinder and more forgiving with myself in the face of failure.
Throughout the school year, Mr. LeDoux and I did not always see eye-to-eye on my grades in his class. It was not that I was doing poorly in his class, but that I expected more of myself than was reasonable for a high school student in a college literature course. I expected perfection of myself and grew frustrated with myself and my teacher when I couldn’t quite reach it.
My work was not perfect – not because of tangibly discernible qualities that detracted from the work, but because of a philosophy that Mr. LeDoux held: perfection doesn’t exist, and it is unfair to demand it of ourselves and others. Mr. LeDoux wasn’t trying to frustrate me, rather, he was trying to show me that “imperfect” does not mean “poor” – it means “human”. He was trying to show me the value of having a growth mindset and forgiving myself for making mistakes.
This was a lesson that I took quite a long time to fully grasp. It is not easy coming to grips with fact that try as one might, perfection is simply unattainable. “Nobody’s perfect” has been repeated so much so that it is a cliché, yet it truly does ring true. Despite this, I, along with many of my classmates, have found it challenging to accept that imperfection does not indicate failure so much as room to continue to grow, learn, and improve.
As I leave high school, this lesson continues to help me on my path of continuing to grow and improve as a learner and person. The reality is that I will always have more room to learn and grow in these areas, and it took prolonged mutual frustration between Mr. LeDoux and I for me to truly understand that. He has helped to ease my mind as I forgive myself and push myself to continually strive for better, and thus shaped who I am.