BE THE SOLUTION by Connor

BE THE SOLUTION by Connor - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Sitting in the 6th Grade classroom, I saw the special ed teacher approach my room. My heart started pounding. Hearing my name being called out in front of the whole math class made me feel stupid and embarrassed. “Connor, please come work with me in a separate room”. These words were about the worst thing I could hear. These words made me feel awful about myself and ruined my confidence, because I knew students would look at me strange and talk about me. Why can’t learning just come easy to me like it does to my sister or my friends? I just wanted to shut down and not even want to try; before even attempting any schoolwork, I knew I would most likely fail because that's the way school went for me.
Even though I had struggled in school throughout the years, I didn’t have an IEP until 7th grade. To me, I didn’t see the benefit of having this, it just made me stand out even more among my peers. However, my mindset changed in the 10th grade. During this year, I worked with a special ed teacher who really explained why parts of learning were so challenging for me, but that even with my disability, all I have to do is work harder than everyone else and I will still be successful in life. I just have to do things a little differently. Sometimes I might have to read instructions six times to understand, I have to rewrite math problems several times before I grasp the concept. As I was learning what I needed to do to improve, I began to realize that my goals were actually attainable. I knew now I needed to give myself a chance to be successful and not just assume I was going to fail. I finally realized that just because I had an IEP and needed some support, didn’t mean that I was stupid. This “woke me up”, and just about everything in my life began to turn around. I started working out on a daily basis and taking very good care of myself. I figured out I had to balance sports, friends, and work with school, and get my priorities straight if I wanted to achieve my goal of attending a 4-year college and being successful in life.
These past few years, I have been listening to motivational speakers daily, one of my favorites is Eric Thomas, author of The Secret to Success. “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful”. This became my mantra. I had this in my mind every day. Success is a way of life. Just because I have to do things a little differently than others, work a little harder than others, that's OK. I can do that, I will do that - forever. Why did it take me this long to figure this out? I have some simple advice for myself 5 years ago, "work harder." Simple yet effective. If I had figured this out 5 years ago, I could have saved myself a whole lot of frustration.
“Bottom line, I removed myself from the victim mentality and took control of my life. I’m not just going to take responsibility for the success in my life - I’m going to take responsibility for the failures in my life. When you're willing to accept that you're the problem, you immediately become the solution.” - Eric Thomas. I would have told myself "Be the Solution;" but this is me now - I AM the solution!