Humbled by Ego by Cristobal

Humbled by Ego by Cristobal - July 2023 Scholarship Essay

Ego is described as the overcompensation of sense, self or importance of a person. Ego is the manifestation of success and popularity. Popularity of being applauded and boosted on a pedestal for all to see. Ego is the one thing I let myself get to that became the downfall of my educational experience. The satisfaction of praise and applause destroyed my way of self, others and most importantly my education.
Growing up I was always taught to do the right thing and good manners and you know the rest. Now considering my grades were always so good you’d expect I would be rewarded with being able to go out with my friends or go watch a movie for my own enjoyment. That wasn’t the case because I was always either playing some sort of sport or my parents weren’t just up for me to go venture out into the world just yet considering the area, we lived in. So, in my free time I studied and studied whether my teachers were great or poor no matter what I found a way to excel. Thinking back, I don’t think I really used teachers so much for help it just came to me. Well except biology I think it was the one science I could never comprehend. Sooner or later though my lack of work ethic was going to catch up to me.
My biggest failure in my education is something I frequently examine because it felt so unordinary. Believe it or not the thing that failed me wasn’t teachers or tutors but my social practices. Some call it a dream, some call it a random social norm, some high school students get to relish but popularity and approval from random students I don’t even talk to anymore is what I call a mistake. A mistake that changed my imagery of self for years.
Sophomore year of high school I had just become Vice President of my sophomore class. To me it was an educational feat, but I hadn’t realized it was also a popularity contest. This is the point of my life where everything seemed like a movie. From that point I was the most egotistical person there ever was. Looking back, I believe that my lack of being social growing up was a leading cause to the rise of my image. In this process I left my original friend groups and hung out with the more self-reserved athletic popular groups. I still had impressive grades which was just fuel to the fire. How much better could I be with this attention and still having the grades without trying. The humbled young man I once was no more. My relationship with my disciplined parents were different and bonds I shared with my old “lame” friend group as someone put it were no more. I was alive and my ego grew more by the day.
If anyone has ever experienced heartbreak I sincerely apologize and know that it will get better with every step, you take. My heart was broken the day I tore ligaments in my ankle the day before our playoff game for football. The one game I looked forward to too I could not play but it's okay because good grades, right? What about the friends and followers I lost and pounds I gained after being inactive and additionally ignoring my parents' advice. But good grades, right?
In this time, I head off to college and freshman year I tried so hard to revive the ego that once carried me that I had ignored some of school. Since I never built a work ethic I didn’t know how to fail. I had never failed a class or gotten so many C’s until my first semester report card. At this point I have nothing but myself and even myself I could not stand.
Ego is an additive to failure. This path I chose was chosen out of selfishness and greed. There are times I think I deserved it but now I think I needed it. Now I am starting to regain my A’s and B’s as an Engineering major and currently work as a youth development leader and address community service events when I can. In college I'm beginning to join more groups and athletic clubs just for fun and build commodities among others. Those friends I left prior to my reign of egotism I reconnected with once more. The bonds I severed will never be the same, but they are together again. Popularity isn’t a contest worth winning nor are the memories you’d want to remember. The people you can call your friend and the family you care for are what matter. The people you help along the way will forever be more appreciative than the so-called friends who hung out with you for likes on a screen. Even if you are good in school doesn’t mean you can’t polish different methods to study. Yes, some people are natural at school and some like how I was only goes so far. There is never enough time to be someone you're not and there certainly never is enough time to let your ego corrupt your educational and professional goals. With all being said, stay humbled.