Am I the Imposter? by Deesha

Am I the Imposter? by Deesha - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

With a pit in my stomach, I stepped into the frigid classroom. Was this really the place for me? Around me, I was surrounded by national debate champions, Module UN Winners and the best of the best from around the state. The Georgia Governor's Honors Program was an amazing experience where I learned so much academically but even more about myself. To qualify for this program, I had to compete in a series of rigorous interviews and essays.

Despite this, there have been numerous times when I doubt my knowledge of subjects well within my domain of expertise, to the point where I defer to the opinions of others around me instead of sharing my perspectives. Specifically during one of the class programs, I still regret not interjecting during a debate about supply side and demand side economics that may have changed the outcome of the event. I am often right, but I question myself so much in the moment that I cannot assert my knowledge.

Reflecting on this, I began questioning the amount of opportunities that I had missed because I had fallen to the hands of Imposter Syndrome. It was only a few moments later when I had learned that I wasn’t the only one at the program who had felt this way. We were each intimidated by one another in a variety of ways.

I want the Deesha who used to put her shoes on backwards to know that the worst drug is being comfortable. I’d want her to continue pushing herself out of her bounds and working to challenge the ideas of those around her. If your dreams don’t make those around you feel intimidated then are you dreaming high enough? Shoot for the moon and end up amongst the stars. You are destined for more than you can even imagine.