Who I Am by Destiny

Who I Am by Destiny - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

Who I Am
As a girl growing up as a Gen Z, where everything happens online, from new dance trends to the “Clean girl” vs. “Baddie aesthetic”. It’s hard to differentiate yourself when everyone around you is conforming to the media. It's especially difficult to find the strength within yourself to be the only one to step out and be different. From my personal experience as a black girl, it feels harder. Black women in general already have a mass of stereotypes attached to us, and the internet continues to weigh us down. The majority of the online presence of black females is the same. We see women with hourglass figures, full lips, 30-inch weave, or "buss down" as they call it, and wearing popular brands such as Jordan, Lululemon, and True Religion, among others.

For me, growing up in predominantly white spaces my whole life, I wanted to be more black. I had been called white-washed too many times to count, and along my way to finding my true self, I tried to fit in with my white friends and be like them. In middle school, Taylor Swift was very popular amongst girls my age, and all the white girls seemed to love her, so I tried to as well. I started to follow what girls online were wearing to “fit in” with the girls at school. I began to shop at Hollister, American Eagle, and H&M. I bought crop tops, Birkenstocks, and shirts with city names like Brooklyn. All because the media told me it was in style, and I wanted to blend in. The media said, in order to “fit in,” I had to change my style, music taste, and more. But that wasn’t me, and at the time, I didn’t understand that the media had blindsided me by giving me what I desperately wanted.

Heading into freshman year, I decided to leave that friend group, not because they were bad friends, but because I wasn’t myself when I was around them. After that experience, I set a new goal: Be more Black. I wanted to find strength to be me and stay true to myself. The media seemed to understand the change I was going through. They gave me the recipe for a stereotypical black girl. According to the media, I should be listening to rap or R&B, I should wear box braids, and use slang, or talk “ghetto.” I started to conform to the stereotypes projected onto black women.

It began with my hair. I was used to wearing my hair straight all year round until I was introduced to box braids. The media showed me boho braids, Fulani, Jayda Wayda braids, and more. I wanted to move away from the straight hair that labeled me as white-washed, so braids were the perfect escape. In a short amount of time, I went from silk presses all year round to different braids every month.

Step one was complete. Moving on to the second step, I altered my music taste. In middle school, I only listened to Taylor Swift to fit in with my friends, but during high school, I began to discover my own taste, which just happened to be the typical black girl’s taste. When I began to listen to rap/r&b, it fit into the stereotype, but along the way, I learned that it was my genuine taste in music. SZA was super popular in 2022-2023 due to her releasing the SOS album. Her song “Snooze” was booming on TikTok, and so I gave it a listen. Turns out everyone was on the same side of TikTok because it seemed we all knew the same lyrics. “How can I snooze and miss the moment? You just too important. Nobody do it like you do.” Step two was also a major success; it seemed that the recipe given to me by the media wasn’t entirely bad. Since everyone in school was singing these lyrics it seemed we were fitting how we were supposed to.

Sophomore year strolled around, and I found the strength within myself to be who I wanted to be not who the media wants me to be. It’s important to separate yourself from the influences of the media and the influencers because if I went throughout my high school life being who they want me to be, I would’ve been walking around in someone else's body. My high school life would have been similar to “The Truman Show,” being controlled by another person who forces you to do what they have planned because they think it’s best for you. I decided to stop trying to conform to what the media was pressuring me to do, as in the “Truman Show.” I began to figure out which part of who the media created I actually liked. For example, the box braids were a great way to take a break from straight hair. I truly did like SZA at the time, but as I got older, I grew away from her. I now know exactly who I am. I believe that as you get older, you will gain the strength to do what you never imagined was possible but you just have to learn from experience.