Struggles by Jaelon

Struggles by Jaelon - January 2025 Scholarship Essay

Jaelon Thomas
Mrs. Olivares
English Dc comp
12 September 2024

Struggles
In elementary school, everything in school felt like a challenge. Whether It was reading, math, or even something as simple as the alphabet, I always struggled with it. I was always the student who was pulled out of the class for one-on-one help or I was the student who would always be dreaded having to read in front of the class. Before I would go up for my paragraph to read, I would always sit there and just read it over and over again. I always had a pit in my stomach and a voice in my head telling me don't mess up or they will all laugh at you. I was in a program for reading and writing called, Read 160 program because I couldn't be in the regular reading class like the rest of my classmates. Having to go back to school was hard. I felt unwanted and less smart than the ones around me. In the mornings my mom would have to beg me to get into the car and would always have to pry my hands off the head rest while I would scream and cry dreading having to walk into those circle shaped doors.
In kindergarten, I was told I needed to be held back due to me not being close to the standard reading or writing level. I was told if I didn't get held back, school would only get harder and harder for me and that I would always struggle with It. I was so young I didn't even understand what they meant by not meeting the ¨standards¨ I thought I was just a normal kid. Now looking back at that time those words are what changed me. Those teachers could have been right but I wasn't going to let them hold me back from my friends.
From sixth grade to eighth grade I was very defiant, and didn't want to do my work, even my own counselor said that, ¨I would be nothing In life and would go nowhere.¨ Those words that just brought me down from the people that are supposed to encourage me and that are supposed to help me grow and want for me to grow. That almost felt like the last straw for me. In sixth grade I was put In a class called read 180, which was just a step up from read 160. I hated being In that class because It made me feel less than the rest of my class and I hated the teacher for making me be there (even though It wasn't even her fault.) Having a class that was two hours of my day separate from all my friends felt like prison in a way. I would even be late to that class just so my friends didn't see me go down that hall and into that class. Being 12 years old, my friends would all go to each other's houses and work on homework and they would ask ¨why does your stuff look different?¨¨ Who do you have as a teacher?¨ This was one of things that felt like I was out of place , like I know that wont judge me but deep down they might. When all my friends would share their schedules, then they would ask for mine but I would be too embarrassed to show them because I didn't want them to think I was less smart than them. That year I fought to get out of that class. I would sit there and beg like a dog and tell the teacher that I am ready and I can do it. I took the Read 180 test every Friday until my score was high enough to get out of there. When I finally got out of that class I was so excited it felt like nothing could stop me. Then came the last week of 8th grade math. all of the 8th graders would take this big test. I had actually even studied for this test which is something I would never do and always dreaded doing but something in me felt like I was on the top of the world and I liked that I could do anything I wanted. Until my teacher explained to me that no matter what I had scored on the test I would still be put in the lower level math class due to me having an IEP. This really brought me down. I felt like everything I had just done meant nothing. Not just studying but even taking the test every friday for the past 8 weeks felt like it wasn't because no matter what i would always be less. I would always be looked at as the student that was not smart enough to be in a normal class.
In high school, I still struggle with spelling words and math problems. But something had changed with my mindset in those last 3 months. It was like a switch had turned on and I knew it was time to start proving to those teachers that doubted me and the students that made fun of me that I was more. I was just as good as them. All my grades switched from Cs and below to Bs and above. Freshman year was when I finally realized no matter If I have an IEP or if I'm not In the same classes as my friends, that doesn't determine my worth. I have taken almost 5 college classes and fought against my counselors and my IEP teacher who were concerned about me not being able to take those classes saying, ¨they'll be too hard for you.¨ But every day I sit In these college-level classes with my friends and overcome those challenges. Because of this happening to me I've become a much better student. I've even joined clubs and sports on top of being in those classes. I got accepted into my top three colleges and was awarded money for having so many credits in high school. I was student body vice president and captain of the cheer team. I even created my club at the high school. No matter how hard the math problem or the English question is, I still overcome it and I will continue to fight for my knowledge no matter what others say or do.