I Was a Mess by Jay

I Was a Mess by Jay - January 2025 Scholarship Essay

Quarantine had flipped my life around in the year 2020 as it did for many other teenagers. In the midst of all of the news and global changes, I started to forget about my own life. Academics took a backseat as I neglected my teachers and lessons like it had no effect on me. I did indeed attend all of my Zoom and Google meetings, but my extent of activities ended right there. As the days went on, I held onto this lifestyle while I was slowly losing a grasp on myself.

My middle school band director was funny, humorous, and overall fun to be around. However, his emphasis on work was just as strong as his ability to make a student laugh was. He noticed my lazy approach to school along with the results that it had led to. Among the many emails from teachers asking me to submit their work, his message was more than just a request. My parents were furious with me as they realized their supposedly studious son had been distracted and neglected all parts of his life that were important to him as he was failing most of his classes while underperforming in the band. His focus on studies, his instrument, and his favorite sport basketball all vanished, where videogames and endless hours on TikTok took more importance. The tears streamed through my face without end as I started to understand the mistakes I have made. I felt I had failed my parents at the young age of 13.

He privately requested to have a meeting with me the next day. We talked through my school mentality as I endured through my puffy red eyes from the night before. As he confronted me about the dozens of incomplete assignments, I started to understand where his frustration was coming from.

I had potential. I was one of the best tuba players in the school, and made the highest level band in only 7th grade. Yet I had never placed in any of my regional competitions. Through his frustration about my performance in these competitions, he found that this was not just an occurrence in band, but a pattern that was slowly consuming me year after year. He was not just angry because I was not able to finish a few recordings, but he was disappointed that I was throwing my academic life away without realizing it. He knew that I am capable, and that I can very much do great things with my time and my skills. But he saw that nothing good was coming out of my life.

I have since quit the band that year, but my band directors philosophies live on with me today. He taught me that talent is nothing without discipline. That even if I am capable of achieving something it means nothing if I cannot work towards it. He taught me to never be satisfied with mediocrity, and to always put all of my effort into growth. As I move forward with my education, I will continue to emphasize my ability to get work done just as he inspired me to. No matter the temptations or hardships, discipline will reign through my every move.