Progress, not perfection. by Jessica

Progress, not perfection. by Jessica - February 2014 Scholarship Essay

The power of words is immeasurably significant. Words can irrevocably destroy the whole of an individual, but, perhaps more significantly, words can inspire a person to achieve things he or she never thought possible. It is in this latter capacity that the whole of humanity finds hope and motivation, even in the darkest and most difficult times in our lives. Throughout history, the words of individuals during times of distress have inspired generations (e.g. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream speech”). But words don’t have to be wrought by a well-known social figure or possess impressive verbiage and literary genius to have a deep, meaningful, and compelling impact on an individual. The same inspirational power can be found in three words spoken by a friend in a time of self-doubt.
“Progress, not perfection.”

I first discovered these words while reading an entry by my favorite vegan blogger, Lindsey from Happy Herbivore. The simplicity of the verbiage lends the statement to become a daily mantra, providing peace and acceptance at any moment. This small quote spoke so specifically to me at a time when I no longer believed I would ever amount to anything.

I grew up in rural poverty, and, as the eldest sibling, the responsibility fell to me to succeed where my parents could not. I strove for perfection in every avenue in my life, whether it was in academics, in sports, or in raising chickens. Driving this responsibility were the expectations delivered in seemingly insignificant quips by my parents. For example, if I were to bring home an “A” the question was always, “That’s nice, honey, but why isn’t this an ‘A+’?” The weight of this expectation began to lay heavier and heavier as I grew into adulthood, and when the time came for me to venture far beyond where my parents had ever been and enroll in college, the burden became no longer sustainable. Self-doubt and self-hatred, which in small doses drove my perfection-striving motivations, permeated throughout my being, unchallenged and unrelenting. My daily thoughts were comprised of statements like, “You will never graduate from college. You aren’t smart enough. You can’t possibly believe that you could ever succeed. You’re a poor, small town girl, what can you possibly hope to accomplish?” Crushed by the never-ending barrage, I dropped out of college, never hoping to return, which only exacerbated and gave a level of truth to my fears and doubts.
It wasn’t until my husband introduced me to Lindsey from Happy Herbivore that I was able to truly throw off the self-doubt and become my own champion. (Lindsey writes a blog on living a whole food, plant-based and minimalist lifestyle.) Her extremely encouraging attitude is captivating and contagious. Her personal mantra, which she shares regularly, is “Progress, not perfection.” These simple words radically changed my perception of myself. With every slip up on my journey I, now, could pick myself up, say those words, and continue on my way. As I used this simple statement to give myself leniency, I began to discover that life wasn’t about perfection. In fact, perfection doesn’t even really exist. Life wasn’t about expectations placed on you from outside sources. It is progress that we make in our lives that is what truly matters.

It sounds silly that one straightforward and effortless statement could make such a profound difference, but it did. With my new found revelation, I re-enrolled in college. I continued to, not only use the “Progress, not perfection” statement to keep me sane during undergrad, but I shared it with those around me who were struggling through their own harmful journeys towards an unrealistic expectation of perfection. The power of these words has allowed me to be happy with myself and where I am in my life.

Currently, I have graduated from college and have been accepted into a competitive graduate school program. Certainly the mantra didn’t make any of this happen, but it gave me the tools and perseverance to diminish my self-doubt and discover true success, and, dare I say, happiness. It allowed me an opportunity to forgive myself for my faults and shortcomings, and to expand that forgiveness and leniency to others around me.