How Forcing My Passion Led to Me Finding My Passion by Jordan

How Forcing My Passion Led to Me Finding My Passion by Jordan - February 2024 Scholarship Essay

The essay question asks, “what led you to choose your major,” but the truth is, I did not choose my major, I just copied someone else. I never had a strong passion for anything in life. Unlike other kids, I did not grow up with an intense urge to become a doctor, a popstar, or a firefighter. If you had asked younger me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have just shrugged and gone back to playing with my yo-yo. This feeling of disinterest continued throughout my elementary school years, and then my middle school years, and then my high school years. This was a big reason of why I forced myself into the career path I did.

My sister and brother both went into pre-med right out of high school. In our high school, we had an extremely good science teacher, so their already strong love for science was boosted by the good education which led them into the science field. Since my siblings both had chosen such highly esteemed career paths, and I did not seem to have any genuine interest in anything, I mimicked their decisions hoping that someday I would find the same level of passion they did. I tried to force love for science and medicine into my life, taking all the same upper-level classes they did and planning my college major to go into medicine. I felt no real passion for it and got bored learning the same material as they did. I would be on the verge of falling asleep in every lecture and would hate all the seemingly useless memorization. Yet, because my parents were so proud that my siblings went into the medicine field, I felt like my parents would be disappointed in me if I chose anything else. Doctors are every parent’s dream job for their children. Being a doctor is the most prestigious, impressive job you could get coming from a small sized town like we did. I felt like I had to go into medicine to not let down the family or be judged as having less intelligence.

However, by some streak of luck, the science teacher that fueled my siblings love for science, quit my junior year after I had taken three of his upper-level classes. This gave me an excuse to stop taking upper-level science classes to tell my parents. However, still feeling the pressure of expected success, I decided to take upper-level math classes like physics, college algebra, calculus, and computer science. This is where I found my people, my major, and passion.

As I worked in my math classes, I found competition I had never experienced before. The competition from the people in my classes urged me to solve the equations faster, perfect every test score, and work to greatness independently. And although the competition level was high, the atmosphere was uplifting. No one was snotty or judgy. People were always making and laughing at jokes, and we were all excited to be there. Everybody was a nerd! I felt so at home.

When I started my computer science class, I began to feel even more belonging. I found a class where I could express my creativeness while also learning something that could be beneficial in the work field. I could learn a new skill and have fun doing it! My heart soared thinking of all the potential new career paths I was opened up to. Just like learning a different speaking language opens you up to a whole new country’s communication and ideas, learning a coding language opens you up to a whole new world of possibilities and projects. Whereas before, when I had chosen pre-med to be my destined major and felt like I was just a copy of my siblings, I had now chosen computer science as my major and come into my own individual. I felt like I had not only found my passion but had also found something that would make my parents proud.

If it had not have been for the high school’s science teacher quitting, I would not have diverged from my medical college path that I felt had been predetermined. If it would not have been for my sibling’s impressive career paths, I probably would not have felt like I had to enroll in higher level math, therefore, would have never found my family of nerds. If it would not have been for my computer science class, I might not have been introduced into this branch of creativeness, challenges, and opportunity. When I did not have a choice in my career, I felt like a robot, unable to have passion and coded to follow the leader. As I was luckily forced out of the path of science, I discovered my true self and became my own leader. I chose pre-med because it made me the same, but I changed to computer science because it made me different. I finally have found my own passion, and it feels way better than playing with yo-yos.