Escaping Neverland by Makayla

Escaping Neverland by Makayla - June 2017 Scholarship Essay

Usually children cannot wait to grow up because that means they can eat as much as they want and go to bed whenever they want; they can own their house and paint and decorate it however they want. When I was six years old I said to my mom I don’t want to be an adult because I didn’t want to have any responsibilities such as paying bills and being a parent. I thought being an adult meant you have to be boring, strict, and focused on what I believed didn’t matter such as having a job, money, and clean house. I wanted to stay in Neverland forever where I didn’t have to age another day because I loved being a kid.

Almost my entire life I never daydreamed about growing up because I absolutely dreaded it. During the summer of 2016 I was in a bad state of mind because I felt as if I didn’t have anything going for myself to be successful. I play guitar and create artwork, but I didn’t know if I enjoyed those activities enough to have it as a career. I’m not in AP classes or have a high ACT score, and I thought that would hold me back from getting accepted into a college; I didn’t think I even wanted to go to college because I didn’t know what I was interested in studying. I thought it was a waste of time and money.

I didn’t have any part of my near future planned out, and it seemed to me that everyone else did. I felt completely stuck; I thought I wouldn’t have a future in the first place because I couldn’t imagine myself with a successful career and picture-perfect family living in a beautiful home. I felt as if I would have a miserable life working in retail similar to my dad or I would find out where life takes me, but there’s also the fear of being taken nowhere.

I was obviously completely wrong about the situation. My ACT score may not be the best, but I practiced for it without relying on someone else to push me into doing it. I have never needed anyone to motivate me to do my hardest in school because I love the feeling of studying and doing homework then getting awarded with a grade I deserve. I applied for jobs without my parents asking me to because I actually wanted responsibilities and to pay for things myself. Despite the amount of pressure and anxiety I had at the job I received, I felt proud of myself to be able to try a new experience and find out what it’s like to be in the workforce. My parents rarely mentioned college to me and I never felt pressured by them, but I knew I had to start searching for an education. Overall, I realized I have much more potential and dedication than I thought.

In my life I have become more independent over the years. Being able to do things myself makes me proud because in the end we only need ourselves to pick us off the ground and push ourselves to do something we never imagined.

Getting out of my comfort zone has been the most uncomfortable, amazing experience of my life. I never thought I would be going to college, but the feeling of venturing out into the world by myself thousands of miles away from my family is a terrifyingly extraordinary adventure, and I can’t wait for the experience. The future holds so many different opportunities of failure and success, and my fear of the future is the best fear I have ever felt.

I plan to study psychology and earn a bachelor’s degree or go even further into my education, but I haven’t decided yet. I want to take part in helping people figure out a diagnosis for them if they have an illness or disorder. I also want to understand how the brain works, which parts of the brain controls what, why people behave the way they do, and why people have different opinions. Mainly I want to be able to understand mental disorders and learn how to treat, talk to, and diagnose people in my future career.