Forward March! by Norah

Forward March! by Norah - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

I felt sweat all over my body and rubbing from the thick uniform against my limbs. It was the State Drill meet and our shot at the title of State Champion. As commander, I was overwhelmed by the pressure to call the correct commands, set the right impression for my team, and represent West High. We already made it halfway through the routine and it was going swimmingly. I knew the routine had a pause, followed by an immediate 180° turn. During the pause, my mind seemed to flicker and when the power came back on my teammates started going left! I had mixed up the commands! I wanted to cry and yell at them to turn around, but I needed to maintain my composure. Those few minutes were the most embarrassing of my life. By adding the necessary commands, I did what I could to fix the mistake. The room felt hot and my face was flushed. It took all my concentration to keep my watering eyes from obstructing my vision. As I reported to the Head Judge, I could feel my coach's eyes bore into me. Once my team left the drill floor, our composure collapsed and we just wept. I allowed myself to bear the most guilt for being the commander and calling the wrong command, even if my team assured me it was a team effort. Our coach tried to cheer us up, and he wouldn't let us leave without mustering up a smile through our runny noses and tears.
The next drill season I became commander of our entire Drill Team, and I specifically commanded the Varsity Regulation Team. I had lost sleep over the prior year because of my mistake. Thinking about it still made me anxious about future performances and my competence as a commander. We had been performing well all season, but I wanted redemption at State. Soon enough, the State competition reared its head, and I was going for blood. As I stepped on the floor, I held my chin up high in confidence and brought my team onto the gym floor with pride. I enunciated my commands with a force that seized the judges’ attention. All eyes were on us. It seemed the whole room was holding their breath. We rounded the corner and paused. This was the same part of the routine that we had messed up before. I could hear my heartbeat as I relived the disappointment of the last time we competed at State. Taking a deep breath, I carried on. I called the correct command as I made eye contact with my coach, seeing pride in his smile. The rest of the sequence was flawless, and I marched on with a newfound lightness.
At the awards ceremony, we took third place for our performance and first place in the State competition overall. The blue and gold trophies now sit in their well-earned spot on a shelf in the back of the JROTC classroom. Every time I walk past them, I think about all the tears, stress, and practice that went into bringing that trophy home. I learned the importance of not letting one failure dictate my future or self-image. I beat myself up a lot after the initial mistake, but I couldn’t let that experience change the way I saw myself. Humans make mistakes and that’s just life. Now I understand how important it is to care about what you do without letting your performance dictate your value as a person. It is crucial to have a healthy relationship with mistakes because they will drive you to grow much more than success. I wish my younger self would have that knowledge.