My Journey Through Band by Rylee

My Journey Through Band by Rylee - December 2024 Scholarship Essay

I have never been very good at playing the flute. Hidden behind my parents' numerous compliments, my boisterous claims that I am, in fact, the best flute player in the world, and the eight long years I have been playing the flute lies the undeniable truth: I have advanced surprisingly little compared to my classmates.

I knew that I wanted to play the flute on a hot spring day in second grade, during Mrs. Martin’s class. Her daughter had performed a song for us. I don't remember what she looked like, who was sitting next to me, or the melody. All I remember was the knowledge that I needed to get my hands on the flute as soon as possible– I needed to learn.

In fifth grade, I finally got the chance to play the flute. Middle school had just started, and with it, the opportunity to join band. I signed up for the class eagerly, the puzzle pieces quickly falling into place. There was no hemming or hawing about whether I should play the saxophone, trumpet, or clarinet–I knew that I wanted to play the flute.

The first few months of playing the flute were awful. Nobody tells you that in order to learn an instrument, you first have to learn how to hold it, then how to blow air through it, and finally how to move your fingers to squeak out an out-of-tune, horrendously airy note. I took to the flute like a fish takes to air, gasping for breath and flailing around. My fingers ached and my arms trembled, desperately trying to position my flute correctly. I often became light-headed, struggling between not blowing enough air and blowing way too much. But, I persevered.

For the first two years, I decided to fake it until I made it. I felt as though I was always a step behind the other kids. I couldn't change from C to D quickly, couldn't play A natural, and god forbid anyone asked me to read a note below B flat. I pretended to play through almost every band concert and constantly struggled in sectionals. The next two years were better. I could quickly switch between all my notes, and I could play any note from B flat to high F. Unfortunately, I still couldn't read the low notes. I had gotten past my initial learning curve and was able to keep up with my classmates better, I thought I was doing pretty decently.

The end goal of my eighth-grade year was to perform an audition for the high school teacher, and then get placed into one of their bands: Concert Band, Symphonic Band, or Wind Symphony. I had my eyes set on Symphonic band, the middle of the three bands. I knew it would be a struggle for me to get in, but I practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced. I went over my music again and again, perfecting my crescendos and keeping my tone even. I memorized my scales– B flat, E flat, A flat, chromatic– you name it, I would play it. Finally, audition day came. I went into the small room, my hand shaking, and began to play.

When the list was finally posted, my name was listed under Concert Band.
I eventually got over my disappointment. Many others had gotten into Concert Band, and I couldn't change the past. Freshman year, I walked into band with a good attitude every day. I was ready to continue to get better. I gave it my all for each warm-up, song, and concert. High school was a completely different realm, and I grew better at my skills.

At the end of the year, I auditioned again. This time, I was going to get into Symphonic Band. I practiced my piece until my fingers ached, I listened to professional recordings, and I learned how to sight read. I was ready.

A few months later, my name was once again listed under Concert Band.

My sophomore year was spent with less enthusiasm, I desperately wanted to make it into Symphonic Band for my junior year. I spent the year learning how to play the higher notes, each of the twelve scales and their arpeggios, and how to play in four-bar phrases. There was another audition, another wait, and once again, I hadn't made it into Symphonic Band.

Not making it into Symphonic Band my junior year crushed me. I had thought for the past three years that I was good enough to make it, but I had been wrong again and again. The learning journey that I went on during my junior year was not about getting better at the flute, but getting to know myself.

I have wanted to be amazing at the flute for over ten years, yet I know that I will never live up to my expectations. The constant disappointments and failures that I have experienced over the past eight years have shown me that no matter what, I will continue to keep trying to better myself. I have learned that a setback is just that, a setback. All I have to do is continue to trudge forward and not give up. This year, I finally achieved my dream. I made it into Symphonic Band, and I did it by not quitting, and by not giving up. I have been resilient and determined. And it finally shows.