What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago? Why? by Sumarlei

What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago? Why? by Sumarlei - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

Five years ago I was, like many, in that state of becoming an adult and leaving my childhood and immature play behind. I was a seventeen year old high school senior in Orange County who wasn't sure what to do so I did what any other kid would do and let everyone else, but me tell me what to do which left me unsatisfied with the carved out yet unfamiliar and fuzzy path. Lingering thoughts and indecisions have always plagued me, trying to meet expectations and become someone my loved ones and I can be proud of was much easier said than done. Getting to where I wanted to be was a challenge because there was no clear cut solution nor guaranty that I would get there. So what should I do to get there? How should I proceed? Most importantly why should I do it? These thoughts were what kept me up at night. While everyone in my year seemed to know what college they would go to, the kind of connections or activities they had built up were to some paying off while others simply resigned themselves to living now and putting their future worries on the backburner, deluding themselves to think that youth and freedom were more important. Graduation came and went in the blink of an eye, but I was emotionless if ever I felt something while walking on the red carpet and getting on the podium or posing for pictures was - loneliness. No longer would I get to see those I grew up with as easily, nor would I be able to keep on getting the guidance and care I had grown so used to, so I thought to myself why should I be happy on such a sad day?

This is a question that has not been easy to admit, but it was because I never did anything to warrant me happiness in my four years in high school. This is something I had come to terms with just recently but I had not wanted to recognize it because it would mean that everything I did then was fruitless and meaningless to me if at the end of the day I would feel regret. Had I known then what I do now that no matter what classes I had decided to take or where I decided to go it would not stop me from getting to where I am today would I have walked through that carpet with my head held high, hand shaken whoever I needed to confidently, and smiled a real honest smile would I be able to have left a better memory of that day?

That is why if I could give myself or anyone out there a piece of advice it would be to not be afraid of the kinds of decisions you make as long as you have a plan in mind to get where you want to be. Do not let anyone or anything stop you from accomplishing that goal. Remember that you are the master of your own life, only you know what will make you truly happy. Because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter where you started it is where you ended and the lessons you learned along the way.