Why I Do What I Do by Hope

Why I Do What I Do by Hope - April 2025 Scholarship Essay

When people think of hearing loss, their understanding of it is that it is a lower level of hearing or no hearing at all. They don’t realize all the struggles that are encompassed within it, the isolation, the inability to communicate and interact the same way your peers do, and the feeling of being suppressed because outsiders believe your disability caps your capabilities.

As a hard-of-hearing person, I’ve always lived in a weird in-between. I was never hearing enough to process the world the same way as my peers, and I wasn’t ever deaf enough to adopt the culture as my own. So I forced myself to fit the one I deemed most desirable, I covered my hearing aids with my hair, refused to use an interpreter, and did everything to disassociate myself from that part of me.

I think my need to dissociate all stemmed from the overarching feeling that my hearing loss was a burden to myself and all the people around me. My whole formative years were spent doing everything the hard way, not asking for help when I needed it, all because I didn’t want to be an inconvenience. It did build up my ability to thrive in environments where the odds are against me, but I don’t believe my experience should be the common experience. A sentiment that drives me in all my ambitions.

I came to first accept myself during COVID when my mother and I moved to Iowa and I was placed into Iowa School for the Deaf. ISD was the first place my “disability” didn’t set me apart, it instead brought me closer to my peers. Eventually, as I warmed up to the space and people, I started wearing my hair up, changing my hearing aid batteries out in the open, and using an interpreter. It was the first time I’d felt true community in a part of me I’d hidden for too long.

ISD, while it also led to me truly accepting myself, it also exposed me to what is the reality for a lot of deaf youth who are pushed aside by their parents and not given the faith that can succeed. Many of the students struggled with drugs and had outbursts daily (sometimes violent), all of which were fueled by a deep-seated anger within them. An anger that comes from constant neglect and not being believed in.

The deaf community deserves more, and I plan to contribute to making that necessary impact. In college, I plan to major in psychology with the goal of becoming a clinical psychologist. I hope to specialize in working with deaf and hard-of-hearing patients. Seeing as I am hard of hearing, I have personal experience with what it means to grow up with such a disability. It is one of those things you can only truly understand when you experience it. I hope to start a counseling program that reaches people on a national level, where deaf students and families can get counseling and mental help at a cost they can afford or no cost at all. I especially hope to provide some college prep and literacy initiatives towards this cause. With this award, I can fully focus my efforts on achieving this goal and taking advantage of all the opportunities available.