Turning Anxiety into Opprotunity by Jillian

Turning Anxiety into Opprotunity by Jillian - December 2024 Scholarship Essay

A challenging academic experience that I've faced is talking in class discussions and presentations. As an introvert, I often have trouble speaking up or stating my answers/opinions, simply because I feel overwhelmed by the large amount of attention that is on me in those moments. More specifically, it makes me think that if there are so many people paying attention to me, they are also paying attention to my every movement or my appearance. These moments occurred most frequently in my English class in my freshman year of high school. We always had discussions about the books we were reading and had to ask 1-2 questions we made, as well as answer at least 2-3 of others' questions. I would always get a low score from not participating, which were the main things that brought my grade down despite having outstanding scores on all my other assignments.

The same happened in sophomore year. In AP U.S. History, I rarely ever had an answer or thought about the topics we were discussing despite having read the content needed. This didn't affect my grade for that class, but it still left me disappointed in myself. It made me think that I wasn’t able to comprehend anything and left me scared for how I might turn out in the future with other individuals in my dream career field, which was design. With design, you have to learn to frequently communicate your ideas with others and build off of their criticism. This is essential for having a product or piece of work that appeals to people other than yourself. If I can’t comprehend or handle what others are saying about me, my ideas, and my thinking, then what does that say about my chances of scoring a successful career? Is this really fit for me?

My thinking changed during the summer before my junior year when I decided to take a 6-week speech class that was offered at my school. I hesitated at first, though I figured that this would help me with my speaking skills and benefit me in many situations. Despite my worries, I took the class, and it proved me right. I might not use all the techniques I was taught to this day, but it did teach me one thing that always reassures me. There is not one person who has been totally invincible when it comes to public speaking; everyone has always had a thing that they were worried about, whether it was big or small. We are all in the same place in these moments. Most importantly, rather than dwelling on what might go wrong, think about what could go right.

I like to think of it like the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make orange juice.” Rather than the casual optimism, turn that worry into something different or unexpected in a way that it benefits you. Don’t let others’ opinions worry you—instead, leave them wondering how you did the thing you did.