Jerry Spinelli Taught Me Why I Need a Happy Wagon by Tiara

Jerry Spinelli Taught Me Why I Need a Happy Wagon by Tiara - April 2014 Scholarship Essay

In The novel Stargirl, author Jerry Spinelli highlights the ups and downs of trying to fit in in high school. Susan, better known as Stargirl Caraway, is a beautiful, quirky, empathetic character that some might call a 'rare bird'. Stargirl was home schooled and had yet to appropriate the mannerisms of the average high school teenager. But that's what made her special. The most memorable thing about Stargirl for me (besides her adorable pet rat, Cinnamon) is her penchant for finding any excuse to throw a few stones in what she calls her "happy wagon". Stargirl has a wagon that she puts an extra stone into every time she gets happy, and takes a few out of whenever she is sad. Throughout the book (and its sequel: Love, Stargirl) she fills and empties this wagon according to her mood. The understanding of the surrounding world, ability to prioritize, and form of self-expression Stargirl’s happy wagon gives her was enough to convince myself that I needed one too.
Stargirl wasn't exactly a hippie, but more of a free spirit. Her quiet chats with Senior Saguaro the Cactus, may make her seem a bit off her rocker at first, but through her amazing ability to enthrall all those she meets, it’s easy to see that she knows exactly what she’s doing and what’s going on, all the time. Stargirl used her happy wagon to help herself understand how she felt about things. She simplified everything around her into what was happy, and what was sad. When her wagon was running low, she made choices to make herself happy, because she understood that other people couldn't always fill her wagon up for her. Her relationship with Leo, her friends, other kids at school, and herself are all expressed by how they affect her stone count. Her understanding of those around her and the ability to make positive choices with that knowledge was made possible by her cute little wagon.

Throughout the story, Stargirl experiences teenage insecurities, especially after a while of being exposed to other kids her age for the first time. At first, she does what she does best: be constantly happy and excited about life. She becomes a cheerleader, cheering for the other team as well as her own; she plays guitar and sings at lunch; she walks around town leaving pennies for people to find in the hopes that it will brighten their day. Eventually others become jealous, confused, unaccepting, and even angry with her because they don’t understand and appreciate her individuality as much as some do (namely, her boyfriend/love interest Leo). She goes through a phase of attempting to fit in, desperate to be liked by her peers. She goes by her given name, Susan, rather than by the beautiful and wonderful name she took for herself. After days and then weeks of staring at a dwindling and then empty happy wagon, and the disgruntling acceptance of the fact that the boy she loves doesn’t love her for who she truly is, Stargirl realizes that her happiness, mannerisms, and sense of self-worth were more important than what others think of her. So what if she led the entire teenage population of her town around the neighborhood country club with her own rendition of the bunny-hop? Stargirl was able to use that wagon to sort out what was important to her, instead of allowing everyone around her influence her priorities.

Some people paint, draw, read, write, rap, and, like Leo, collect Porcupine ties to express themselves. Stargirl is no exception when it comes to the need to outpour her emotions. Her happy wagon catharsis is unique in that it allows her to understand and cope with her emotions, rather than bury them. She openly acknowledges when she is sad by removing stones from her wagon. It’s easy to tell that she’s very desperate when she’s metaphorically clutching on to the last stone for dear life, trying to find reasons to be happy enough that it can stay there. Allowing herself to feel these emotions with the use of her wagon provides physical proof of how she feels; she can't hold her love for Leo in her hands, but she can put her favorite stone in that wagon and leave it there to remind herself how happy he makes her. Stargirl’s emotional outlet is her wagon, and regardless of how she’s feeling or the number of stones it contains, she’s at peace with herself because she knows that she isn't hiding anything from herself or others.

Stargirl’s happy wagon provided her with a delightful way to understand her surroundings, improved her prioritization of things, and allowed her to express her emotions in an effective way. Despite the silly, fun, and free spirited personality Spinelli gives her, the seriousness of the benefits of this wagon prompted me to have one of my own. I have a small box in my room that I place a stone or a coin in when I'm in a good mood, and remove things from when I'm a little sad. The rewards of having a my own ‘happy wagon’ inspire me to find reasons to fill it up every day, thanks to the wonderful, amazing, delightful character that is Susan Stargirl Caraway, who has helped me understand, prioritize, and express myself. She’s much more than just a character to me.